Change
There is no end to nature because every end is a new beginning.
It feels like I’m in a cycle of endings and beginnings. I was reflecting today, and I realised I’m either right smack bang in the middle of chaos, or maybe somewhere between chaos and a transforming idea. Two weeks ago I was a little more towards chaos, and 3 weeks ago I was definitely right in the middle of it.
I moved, you see. And there is nothing quite like moving house. It’s a giant foreign element that comes with a whole load of mini foreign elements. My kitchen things used to be in these places and I knew where they were, and there was muscle memory to my cooking, and now my kitchen things are in a new kitchen in a new house roughly 400Km from where my old kitchen was.
So yes, chaos… I was thinking about it in my new back garden this afternoon. It being the change process and chaos. I was reflecting that whenever we have a radical change of context, it can feel like a foreign element, and in the past 2.5 months I have managed to have many. I flew from Joburg to New York via Paris, which in itself is many changes of context; then I spent a day on the beach, not to mention the season shift from winter to summer; then there was North Carolina, and ….. Blah blah blah.. I won’t bore you with the list of all the places and things that have happened in the past 2 months, but let's just say there was a lot of context changes, and that got me thinking.
These days, the world seems to ask us to shift contexts many times a day, sometimes, for some people, multiple times an hour. That’s a lot of mini foreign elements and potentially a large amount of chaos for anyone.
When Virginia came up with the change process, she was thinking about behavioural and identity changes, but it's widely applicable to any change. I see teams, organisations and individuals go through it, and I was just thinking of it at a micro level, and thinking about how any change in context, given the person and significance of the change, can trigger some amount of chaos.
It struck me that the society we live in right now demands these micro context switches all the time, and I got to thinking: no wonder our nervous systems are such a mess. There is no time for transforming ideas or for practice and integration. Or maybe you are integrating something that happened last week today in a totally different context.
The chaos hasn’t been as bad for me, I think, because I spent a week in Kruger before the move, so my nervous system had time to shift gear and relax, but also because I know this process well and, to some extent, I could anticipate it.
So the chaos arrived, but I knew what I needed to do to get out of it, and I knew it was temporary. I won’t lie, in the middle of all that, there were definitely moments when I was right in my coping stances, but for the most part, I think my partner Barry and I got through it pretty unscathed. So I thought I would share a little about my chaos and some of the things that helped me.
What helped:
I know the change process and was anticipating a bit of internal chaos, so I was ‘ready’ for it
I know myself so much better than I used to, so I knew what I needed to do to not feel so chaotic (Unpack and get my context feeling ordered and like home)
I know how to ask for what I want, and I have the freedom to do so. In the past, I would have been frustrated because I tried to do everything, didn't ask for help, and expected Barry to read my mind.
Know when to take a break and let it all go. I also knew that, at some point in the chaos, I needed a break and couldn’t get it all done immediately, and my body was tired and needed rest. So I let it all go, because I knew it would all still be there tomorrow, and that was ok.
I allowed myself to feel my feelings and tried to pay attention to them. - What were they telling me? The frustration, the irritation, the sadness. I made space for it, and I let it be information. What was I yearning for?
I took care of myself well. Exercise, space, understanding, and a little love will go a long way.
Just breathe. When things get crazy, just breathing and resetting your nervous system can go a long way.
So those are what helped me.
I don’t have much else for this newsletter, but I wanted you all to know I’m still here and I’ll be back soon.
🔛 What’s Coming:
South Africa
Resources For Change Foundations -I’m planning another one in Cape Town in November; get in touch if you are interested.
Beneath the Surface Communication Workshop - If you want to discover new possibilities for your communication or your team communication, get in touch.
Peace Within 2027 is a 6-day retreat in Kruger for those ready to author their lives, a space to pause, reconnect with themselves, and gently step into what’s next. (15 spaces available)
USA
Mini Intensive- Chapel Hill (NC): November 9- 11 (Scholarships available)
Online
Leadership Consulting Group - New group starts January, a place for people to get support, consultation, and ideas from myself and their peers.
Beneath the Surface Communication Workshop: Get in touch for you or your team.
📚 Resource Corner
The Satir International Journal is available online with so many amazing articles to share.
Satir Global will be having its online conference in July. I will be presenting a workshop on leadership, beliefs and expectations with the P’s
POLL Results
🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩 🔄 I redo things until they're right (hello, perfectionism) (100%)
⬜️⬜️⬜️⬜️⬜️⬜️ 🙈 I avoid starting things that might not go well (paralysis is safer) (0)
⬜️⬜️⬜️⬜️⬜️⬜️ ✅ I measure my day by what I got done (productivity = worth) (0)
⬜️⬜️⬜️⬜️⬜️⬜️ 🤷 What Performance P? (denial is also valid) (0)
❤️ Thank you
Feel free to share this with those who would benefit.
❀ ❀ ❀
Until next time, with love and hugs
Jo
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