Welcome to Resources for Change. Issue 4

🐦‍🔥 Welcome

This newsletter is late, and it’s partly because I was away for two weeks in North Carolina, learning and then giving training. But it’s also late because the learning I received shifted me, and I’m still processing my own change.

Every time I go and learn with Jean, I deepen my understanding of Virginia’s model. I see new connections, new opportunities, and I feel more whole and more me.

In Jean’s office, there is a poster with I Am Me a poem by Virginia. And every time I come back and think about it, it feels a little bit more true. I feel a little bit more whole and a little bit more myself.

Virginia’s quote above reminded me of the poem. The quote is another gentle reminder that we are life, and it is ours to own: our bodies, our minds, our words, our choices. All of it. There is both an anxiety and a freedom in that. We can’t abdicate our experience to anyone else.

Last issue, I spoke about the Iceberg, how our behaviours are the small tip that others see, while beneath the surface lies everything that shapes those behaviours.

Right at the core of that Iceberg is the Self-I-Am, the place that holds the sacredness of our existence. When we feel loved, valued, accepted, and seen, our Self operates from a place of high esteem, making it much easier to stay balanced and congruent.

As we make changes for ourselves as we heal, grow, and allow more of who we truly are to emerge, we begin to move into authorship.

Authorship is the moment we recognise: This is my life. I get to choose how I show up.

Recently, I’ve had feedback from friends and colleagues that speaks to this, too. I’ve heard:

“You seem more balanced.”
“Less anxious.”
“More flexible, more energetic, more confident.”
“Clearer about what you want and who you are.”

A few people have told me I seem more gentle, more still.

This feedback helps me consolidate and integrate this new me, and it also helps me to know that people are experiencing me differently. I’m grateful for that.

And for me, all of this speaks directly to the next two A’s: Articulation and Application, the phases of change that create Peace Between.

🔍 Articulation & Application

Jean McLendon speaks about the Eight A’s of Change. You’ve heard me mention them here before: Awareness, Acceptance, and Authorship, the steps that create Peace Within.

But the next two Articulation and Application are where things start to shift outward. These are the moments when your inner change, healing, and integration begin to move into the space of relationship. And none of these are static or linear, but rather beautifully messy and entangled. I find myself embracing all of these at any given time for different parts and experiences that I am going through.

Lots has changed for me, foreign elements and transforming ideas. I’ve moved into deeper authorship of many parts of myself and my life. Now I’m in the articulation and application phase for the newest changes. This is where I share those changes with people, ask for help or support, and use the feedback I’m getting to know if I’m heading in the right direction.

This is Peace Between.

Why might it bring peace between is a great question. For me, it brings more choice and more congruence.

And it brings a deeper feeling of stepping into the third birth that Virginia spoke about, when we start to live from our own centre rather than from our past, our fears, or other people’s expectations. It’s freedom.

🌱 What Peace Between Looks Like

You may wonder, “What does this actually mean?”

For me, it means the Five Freedoms:

• I find it easier to ask for what I want. (freedom to ask for what I want)

• I can say what I think and feel more openly. (Freedom to say what I think and feel)

• I feel my feelings with more acceptance and curiosity, and far less judgment. (Freedom to feel what I feel)

• I take more risks on my own behalf. (Freedom to take risks on my own behalf)

• I observe what’s here in myself and in others with more curiosity and less assumption. (the freedom to see and hear what IS here instead of what should be, or could, be or must be)

It’s all of this, with congruence and care, and a deep remembering that all humans are a unique and sacred manifestation of life.

And as I write this, I’m also in the articulation phase, sharing my new truth with you.

Being in this phase doesn’t guarantee positive feedback. Some people in our lives may not like that we set new boundaries, ask for what we want, or take risks for ourselves. And that, too, is feedback. We can stay congruent with those people and say:

“This is the new version of me. I hear you, I appreciate you, and I love you, but that doesn’t mean I will go back to who I was before.”

That is Peace Between.

🛠️ Embodied Practice

What’s changed for you?

A gentle practice for stepping into your own articulation and application:

1. Think about what has changed for you in the last six months.

2. What have you already spoken to people about?

3. What’s different that you want support with?

4. Who is your support right now?

5. Pick one thing you want to share and one person you want to share it with.

6. Ask for the support you need, share the new, and ask for the support you are looking for clearly, gently, and congruently.

💬 Leadership Application

In organisations, just as in families, any change we make in ourselves impacts the system around us. This is where Articulation and Application become powerful leadership tools. They help us bring our growing congruence into the relational field.

When a leader becomes more aware, more accepting, and more connected to the Self-I-Am, something shifts in the system. Their presence changes. Their choices change. Their way of responding changes.

And then their articulation changes too. Leaders who are stepping into authorship begin to:

• name what is really going on for them

• speak about the changes they are making

• share their thinking and feelings with more honesty

• ask for what they need

• clarify their expectations with curiosity rather than demand

This kind of articulation raises both self-esteem and system esteem. It models congruence. It creates safety as an experience.

And when leaders begin applying these inner shifts, behaving in ways that align with their articulated truth, teams feel it immediately. Application is what tells the system, “This is real. This is who I am now.”

In this way, Peace Between is a leadership act. It is the place where a leader’s inner change expands outward, shaping their relationships, their team, and the culture around them.

And it’s important to remember: when leaders grow, not everyone will immediately like the change. Some people may resist your boundaries, your clarity, or your new way of showing up. This is information, not a signal to shrink back.

Staying congruent in the face of that feedback is one of the most powerful things a leader can do. It teaches the system that growth is possible, that truth can be spoken safely, and that everyone is allowed to evolve.

And it’s also how activism, altruism, and alchemy emerge, the final A’s of the change process, where groups of people begin transforming culture simply by being more congruent versions of themselves.

Reflection for leaders:

• What change have you made that your team may need you to articulate?

• Where could applying your new truth bring more congruence into the system?

• How might your own growth raise the esteem of the people around you?

🔛 What’s Coming:

South Africa

Resources For Change Foundations - I’m looking for venues in Cape Town and Johannesburg that will allow me to make this accessible at different price points. I’m also looking for ways to connect with social work and support communities so that I can share this wonderful model with them. I want to run monthly workshops in Joburg and Cape Town (if you can help with that, please get in touch).
Beneath the Surface Communication Workshop - We will schedule the next one for January. Get in touch for dates

USA
Leadership Development Workshop - Chapel Hill (NC): New dates coming soon

Online
Leadership Consulting Group - Online Starts Jan 2026
Beneath the Surface Communication Workshop: We are planning an online version for early next year.

📚 Resource Corner

• I am Me : My Declaration of Self-Esteem
  by Virginia Satir

  I AM ME

  In all the world, there is no one else exactly like me
  Everything that comes out of me is authentically me because I alone chose it
  I own everything about me, my body, my feelings, my mouth, my voice,
  all my actions, whether they be to others or to myself
  I own my fantasies, my dreams, my hopes, my fears
  I own all my triumphs and successes, all my failures and mistakes
  Because I own all of me. I can become intimately acquainted with me
  By so doing I can love me and be friendly with me in all my parts
  I know there are aspects about myself that puzzle me,
  and other aspects that I do not know
  but as long as I am friendly and loving to myself,
  I can courageously and hopefully look for solutions to the puzzles
  And for ways to find out more about me
  However I look and sound, whatever I say and do, and whatever I think and feel
  at a given moment in time is authentically me
  If later some parts of how I looked, sounded, thought and felt turn out to be unfitting,
  I can discard that which is unfitting, keep the rest,
  and invent something new for that which I discarded
  I can see, hear, feel, think, say, and do
  I have the tools to survive, to be close to others, to be productive
  to make sense and order out of the world of people and things outside of me
  I own me, and therefore I can engineer me

  I am me and

  I AM OKAY

• Video: Here is a wonderful video of Virginia having a bit of fun with how we protect ourselves

• Bonus: Here is where I created a whole lot of centring exercises, and I will keep adding to them - I haven’t yet.

❤️ Thank you

Feel free to share this with those who would benefit.

❀ ❀ ❀

Until next time, with love and hugs

Jo